Chat with Jon Culshaw

CHAAT: Who was the first person you recall doing an impression of?
Jon Culshaw: Well, the first character to my parent’s delight was Woody the Woodpecker when I was about five. The second one was Patrick Moore after I’d watched an episode of The Sky at Night. [In the voice of Patrick Moore]Stars! Veryyy, veryyy interesting.

C: You’ve recently become a member of The Sky at Night; you must be excited about that!
JC: Yes! They’ve kind of adopted me into The Sky at Night team. It’s wonderful because as an amateur astronomer I can ask the kind of questions that the viewers might have. There are some fabulous experts on the programme; it’s the best job on earth!

C: You’ve impersonated the Doctors of Doctor Who. What are your thoughts on time travelling?
JC: Travelling into the past…I don’t know. It might be wrapped up in some dimensional science that we don’t know yet. We can’t yet work it out…I mean, how do you explain the fax machine to Henry the 8^th?

C: We’re a spicy food magazine, so as a Chaat! challenge could you do an impression of a Chicken Jalfrezi?
JC: An impression of a chicken jalfrezi…That’s perhaps more baffling than the concept of time travel. Let me just travel into the future to see what that looks like. [pause] Yes, apparently I can, but it was very messy. Took three hours to wash off. When I’m next in my local Tandoori I’ll go in and listen to the sound of it cooking and sizzling, then I’ll get back to you.

C: You hosted the British Curry Awards in 2008, so why was this something you wanted to take part in?
JC: I didn’t realise before that there was a British Curry Award, what an absolute extravaganza it was. I did the chef interviews for the awards, sampled some of the food and got to know a few curry houses on the list. I like a korma, but I admire my friends because they eat curries at the level of molten lava. I prefer the overall taste experience you get when it’s a little bit milder.

C: How do you cook your own spicy dishes at home?
JC: I add water and stir. I’m blessed to live very near a curry house so I go there instead. I can cook the basics like a Sunday roast or a lasagne but I’d like to learn more.

C: Do you do any impressions of culinary experts while you’re in the kitchen? Maybe wander around shouting like Gordon Ramsay?
JC: [laughs] Yes I’ll try to chop things up at lightning speed like Jamie Oliver. But rather than a knife I’ll use a wooden spoon and try to transfer this chopping enthusiasm to dramatic stirring. I do a take of Gregg Wallace while he’s sampling his puddings. He takes a quarter of a metric ton on a spoon and just shovels it down.

C: What new adventures are you embarking on now?
JC: I’m in the process of writing the Impressions Show which we’re hoping to start later this year and I’ve been having a lot of fun with the contradictions of Nick Clegg. He’s a bit like a bewildered, supply geography teacher trying to stay afloat. Then you’ve got big characters like Boris Johnson, so it’s not a bad time for taking on politicians. [In the voice of Boris Johnson] It’s Boris going on a spiffing holiday to Brazil…brahh brrahhh.

C: That sounded a bit like a Dalek towards the end there…a strange resemblance.
JC: I like that idea. Maybe the transformation is only halfway through? I can imagine Boris as a Dalek; a mop of blonde hair on top of a dome. [In Dalek voice] exuberate, exuberate! 

Full interview in Chaat! Magazine issue 13